♫ Could I have this Dance for the Rest of my Life...

The words to this song by Anne Murray have the ability to transport me back in time twenty-five years to the days and weeks after we brought Scotty home from the hospital.  Music has a way of pulling us into the past and flooding us with memories of a different time and a different place.

When we brought this beautiful baby boy home from the hospital he did very few things that I had imagined and very few things described in the books I had read.  He didn't eat...he didn't sleep and he cried...oh how he cried...endlessly...all day and all night this child cried.

Steve could calm him by laying him on his chest, rubbing his back, and transmitting his calm vibes into this tense and fretful baby, but when it was my turn I didn't have the same luck.  I am certain that Scotty most likely could sense my anxiety, my unease and my feeling of utter failure at my inability to comfort my own child.

So instead, with the radio playing softly in the background, I walked him and I rocked him hour after hour and night after night trying to quiet my screaming and inconsolable baby.

One night as I paced back and forth across the nursery this song started playing in the background and accompanied the din of infant cries that had become the soundtrack of our nights. I started to sing along with Anne and our impromptu duet unbelievably enough quieted this wailing baby.  When the song finished I continued to sing and dance over and over again...

I'll always remember the song they were playing

 The first time we danced and I knew
As we swayed to the music and held to each other
I fell in love with you

Could I have this dance for the rest of my life...

So night after night we danced around the nursery and I would look at his sweet face as his eyes finally closed and my heart would squeeze with love for my son.  Even though he was only a few weeks old I was already feeling melancholy as I anticipated a time in the future when this  little man of mine would forget the feeling of comfort and safety and love he felt in my arms as we swayed to the music

 
I used to think our time for dancing would last a few short years...years when I was his whole world.  I knew that all too soon he would outgrow me and move on to things far beyond the  reach of my empty, waiting arms.

But like most of the things that I thought I knew 

I couldn't have been more wrong.

For the last two weeks Steve's job has taken him away from home and Scotty and I have been managing the best we can without him.  I wake up each day and try to plan activities that I can handle by myself...activites that keep us both from going stir crazy.  Most mornings include swimming and it helps to pass the time and effectively exhausts my indefatigable son.

The love of water is something common to those with  Angelman Syndrome, so we spend our mornings floating on rafts and diving for squid and fish at the bottom of the pool or playing some silly game we make up. Sometimes, on a really good day I might even get a few pages read in a really great book that has no literary value whatsoever.

Today as we were having horse races on noodles this familiar song started playing and it immediately snapped me back in time.  It brought me back twenty-five years to a night that was filled with sounds of my screaming baby boy...

I'll always remember that magic moment
When I held you close to me
As we moved together, I knew forever
You're all I'll ever need.

Could I have this dance for the rest of my life...

With tears in my eyes I said, "Hey Buddy do you remember when you were a baby and we danced to this song?"  Immediately this sweet boy of mine ditched the noodle and the squid he was holding and put his arms around my neck and his head on my shoulder and...

We Danced

I used to think our time for dancing 

would last a few short years.

Who knew?

  You changed my sorrow into dancing.

       You took away my clothes of sadness,

       and clothed me in happiness. 

Psalm 30:11

 

Some video of Scotty's mad swimming skills and since 50%

 ( I really hope it isn't 90%)

of my readers most likely have no idea who my

 duet partner Anne Murray is 

you can hear her singing in the background♥

In keeping with the theme this week I am highlighting 

my blog post titled Happy Birthday Scotty.

If you would like to read it

 CLICK HERE.

Below is a link to a beautifully written song by Julie Durden called More Like You. 

 Julie wrote this song for her niece Chandler who has Angelman Syndrome like our Scotty.

 It is BEAUTIFUL and brings me to tears every time
I listen to it. 

Scotty, Stevi and Sarah are all in it along with

 many other beautiful faces of Angelman Syndrome.

 Please feel free to share it. 

 CLICK HERE FOR MORE LIKE YOU

For Stevi- Happy 24th Birthday baby girl.
♥I love you to the moon and back♥