Happy Birthday Scotty

Scotty,

Well my little man today you turn 25...

            Twenty-five years ago you entered our world so effortlessly.

In an instant you transformed us into mom and dad.

You made us a family.

Every time I look at this picture I remember this young girl who had spent her whole life imagining you... dreaming of you.  In her face I see all her hopes and dreams for her baby that she will soon hold

 in her arms for the very first time.

 My heart aches for her as she balances on the precipice of something enormous... these last few minutes before her world changes into something unrecognizable.

And knowing now just how many times her heart will break as she watches her son struggle day after day to find his place in this world makes my heart hurt.

And all too soon it would became apparent that the plans that God made for you Little Guy, were much different than the ones she had imagined.

 

 

 

I used to lay awake at night and cry for all that might have been and all that would never be.   

And I wanted answers...

         ...I wanted to know why

                   ...I deserved to know why didn't I?

 Why did this have to happen to you?  What exactly was God’s purpose in burdening you with this rare genetic anomaly called Angelman’s Syndrome?  Why were you given such a heavy cross to bear?  

Or was I to blame?  Was this in actuality my cross to bear?  Was watching you struggle each day to eat, to walk, to communicate and to fit into this world really a punishment for my sins?  Believe me when I tell you that these would have been your questions too.

 I desperately wanted an explanation.

 Twenty-five years later I still don’t have any concrete answers. 

 Not really.

 But that's okay, because I finally realized that instead of wasting so much time questioning God and his motives I should have been looking at you. 

 All the answers I would ever need were right in front of me all along. 

 The answers could be found in the hundreds of 

tiny miracles that  punctuate our days.

Over the years we have watched you

shatter all expectations. 

  

 You have taught me to always expect a miracle.   

Because with you...

...everything is a miracle.

So many lessons I wanted to teach you and instead you have been the teacher and I have been the student. Being your mother has been a continuous lesson in humility, acceptance, compassion, strength, grace, gratitude, hope, persistence, joyfulness, patience and faith. 

 

You're happy.   You're content.  You're loved.

 You care nothing for the things of this world.

  Love is your gift.

You, my son, are love in its purest form.

You love with a deep, 

 indescribable, unconditional love.

It is the way God loves us and the way

 He wants us to love others.

 

 I am humbled that God chose me to be your mother. 

So Happy Birthday my Sweet Boy….  

You may not be the son I dreamed of long ago…

 ...You are so much better.

You are so much more than I deserve.  

Love, Mommy

 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, 

and whoever abides in love abides in God, 

and God abides in him.

1  John 4:16