Wednesday, March 5, 2014

I Give Up...


The Lenten season is upon us once again.
As Catholics Lent is a special time of prayer, 
penance, sacrifice and 
good works in preparation 
of the celebration of Easter. 

For many, including me, this often translates 
into giving up something you love, a sacrifice...
For God.

I have done it all...
Chocolate
Wine
Sugar
Diet Coke
Fast food
Cursing
Gossiping
TV
Facebook
and 
Coffee.

Regrettably,
in all my previous attempts I have failed.

 The coffee was a tragic error in judgement
on my part 
in my extremely sleep deprived life.
In truth I almost killed a man.
In a last startling moment of lucidity I 
realized that my darling husband
can't help it if he needs to chew
his oatmeal at the breakfast
table with the same deafening cacophony of
someone who is chomping on gravel.
And so his life was spared.


This year I have struggled to find my sacrifice.
I am already reading my bible every day,
eating well, exercising, watching less TV,
spending less time on the computer,
so these are in no way suitable for a sacrifice.

I have always wondered if it really
mattered to God whether I ate chocolate, drank wine,
perused Facebook or watched TV.
Last week our priest confirmed that it does not.
He also advised us to not give up something
that makes the lives of those
 around us miserable.
Let's say coffee for example.

It is clear to me that I am missing the point.

 So, I sat in mass this morning,
still unsure of my Lenten plans,
just waiting for some divine intervention
that would lead me to the perfect sacrifice.

And suddenly there it was...


 It was in the face of this guy. 
I watched his face as he peered 
over his dad's shoulder
watching him receive his ashes. 
His face was shining with joy and anticipation.
His expression said, 
"Oh you are so lucky!  I can't wait for my turn!"

I want that.

I want the kind of joy that bubbles up inside of you
and when it spills over it
 impacts everyone around you. 

 So this year I am giving up making promises to 
God that through my own human weakness
I am unable to keep.

This year I am going to give up and let go 
of all the things that take away my joy.
Isn't that exactly what the word sacrifice means?

This year I want to find my joy.
The kind of joy that bubbles up inside of me
and makes others thirst for it too.
The joy that comes from being a child of God.

To my sweet boy who has an endless
supply of joy...
thank you for helping me yearn for mine.
Oh my son, you are so lucky and
I can't wait for my turn!



May the God of hope fill you with all joy
 and peace as you trust in him, 
so that you may overflow with hope
 by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13