Recently a list circulated through the Facebook...
25 Ways You Know You are a Mom.
I thought I would put my own twist
on this theme...Angelman style.
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This child of ours, often referred to as an "angel,"
can be anything but angelic.
The term "angel" stems from
Harry Angelman, the British pediatrician who identified
Angelman Syndrome.
It is not a commentary on their
(at least not Scotty's)
"angelic" personality :)
It is not a commentary on their
(at least not Scotty's)
"angelic" personality :)
You know You Are the
Mom of an "Angel" Man/Woman If...
1. You have watched the same Disney movie 9,855 times.
2. You can hold a two-sided conversation
with your non-verbal child
for 16 hours a day and still maintain
some semblance of sanity...
some, not a lot, but some.
3. You have scooped poop out of a bathtub with a fish net...
more than once.
4. You have no need for an alarm clock, because
you WILL be woken up every morning
at 3:45, 4:45 and 5:45 am.
5. You refer to drool as holy water.
6. You haven't been alone in the
bathroom in the last 27 years.
7. Your body needs caffeine circulating
through its veins in the same way
that it needs blood in order to function properly.
8. Showering is now a spectator sport,
because you don't dare leave them alone
while you spoil yourself with a
43 second shower.
9. You can't take one breath without
breathing in your child's exhaled air,
because they are ALWAYS
standing in your personal space.
10. You have been wiping another person's
butt everyday for the last 27 years.
11. You refer to the bruises that come from
pinches, jabs and bites on your arms
and legs as "angel" kisses.
12. You consider 4 hours of uninterrupted
slumber a good night's sleep,
and if you get more than that you feel like you
have a wicked hangover.
13. You have caught throw up in your hands
while simultaneously getting your hair pulled
AND kicked in the shin.
14. You have bought french fries for complete
strangers because your child firmly believes
that any food item within their reach is fair game.
15. Getting your child showered and dressed in the morning
could be considered an Olympic event
that requires a three hour recovery period.
16. You are capable of being on the wrong end of a
strong right hook that makes you see stars
and yet you immediately hug the slugger,
because you know they are hurting more.
17. It is not beneath you to beg, bribe, plead
or promise that Santa is in the parking lot
if they will just get off the dirty,
disgusting floor at Walmart
where they have dramatically thrown themselves
for reasons we can't even begin to imagine
and walk to the car without breaking the store.
18. You expertly avoid eye contact
with the horrified onlookers as your
child is doing their best to make a complete
spectacle of himself in public.
19. You repeat the following phrases daily.
They are commands that are
for all intents and purposes
never going to happen,
but you never stop trying.
Keep your hands to yourself,
don't bite the dog,
stop licking me,
stop licking the dog,
close the refridgerator,
stop breaking the house,
put that down it is not yours,
STOP (running away from me),
please let me sit for 5 minutes,
Shhhhhhh,
come over here,
please sit still,
and
be patient. Please?
(NEVER gonna happen)
20. You have a no hugging rule.
You talk about it endlessly.
You spend 10 minutes before
someone comes over practicing.
You ring the doorbell so they can practice
opening the door and
greeting you appropriately with a handshake.
They are ready!
Doorbell rings. They open the door...
hug the unprepared and unsuspecting bug man
and top it off with a kiss on the cheek.
21. You have to remind them every day NOT
to pull their pants down whenever
and wherever it occurs to
them that they need to go potty.
22. You still say "potty" to your 27 year old.
23. You have to turn the Three Stooges off
because they laugh so hard they stop breathing.
24. Every time the phone rings they go into a feeding
frenzy and have to have a banana
NOW!
And #25...drumroll...
25. You use combinations of words in sentences
that you never would have dreamed
could or should go together.
My personal best...
"Oh buddy, don't put toothpaste on your penis !"
And that folks is just a small
sample of life with an "angel".
This weekend is our National walk for Angelman Syndrome.
Please join us side by side or virtually.
Every little bit helps to further research and get us
closer to finding a cure.
