Burnt Toast and Dandelions

Sunday is Mother’s Day and once again we are thrown into yet another retail frenzy that brainwashes us into believing that we need to buy cards, fancy gift baskets, or flowers for mom.   Sure those things are nice, but do flowers really convey the message we should all say to our mothers.

Does a basket of flowers really say, 

"Thanks mom for working as my chauffeur, personal assistant, teacher, coach, doctor, psychologist, housekeeper, activities director, personal chef,fixer of all things broken, finder of all things lost, retriever of all things forgotten on the kitchen table, CEO and Superhero…seven days a week for no pay, no room for advancement…and absolutely positively NO room for error."

Flowers…Really?

So what makes little girls dream of being mothers and grown women long to hold a baby in their arms?  I am pretty sure it isn’t the promise of flowers.

Motherhood is exhausting, it's loud, it’s messy, and more often than not it involves some pretty offensive smells…it is the very definition of chaos…a state of utter confusion and disorder.  Amazon lists over a thousand books about motherhood and I can pretty much guarantee that there is very little on those pages that can adequately prepare a woman for motherhood. In this choice of career the only useful training you will get is on the job.

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.

She never existed before. 

The woman existed, but the mother, never. 

 A mother is something absolutely new. 

 ~Rajneesh

Being a mother is really about the million little moments of wonderful we are so privileged to be a part of…moments that we tuck away in our hearts…moments we yearn for as we watch our children grow and move away from us.

It is the sweet smell of a newborn baby,

It is the weight of them as you hold them in your arms,

It is the peace you feel as you rock them

to sleep in the silence of the night,

It is a construction paper card with 

little hand prints that look just like flowers,

It is the smell of  burnt toast and the 
sound of hushed voices in the kitchen as a feast 
is prepared just for you,

It is the smushed dandelion pulled from a little pocket

and handed to you with great reverence,

It is the way their little hand feels in yours,
It is the feel of their breath on your cheek
 as they whisper their secrets in your ear, 
It is the smell of freshly bathed little bodies 
ready to be tucked in for the night,
It is reading the same bedtime story hundreds of times,
It is the laughter that echoes through your home,

It is  the simplicity of the days,

It is the short time when you are their whole world,

These are the moments we treasure…

These are the real days to celebrate being a mother.

Erma Bombeck has written extensively about motherhood and in 1980 she wrote a column titled “The Special Mother.”

Basically it depicts God and his angels carefully matching children with a mother just perfect for them.  When He assigns a child with special needs to his perfect mother, the angel is curious and says, “Why this one, God?  She is so happy.” 

“She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.

She will never take for granted a spoken word.

She will never consider a step ordinary.

When her child says momma for the first time,

she will be witness to a miracle and know it. “

So True…

…But I genuinely find it very hard to believe that anyone has ever looked at Steve and I and said, "Gee, I sure do envy them." 

Who could possibly envy us watching Scotty struggle in a world that he will never understand?  Who would envy the constant exhaustion and the constant struggle we endure just to make it through one more day?  Who would envy the loneliness and the isolation we sometimes feel?  Who would envy living with the stark reality that Scotty is most likely going to outlive us and worrying what his life will be like without us in it? 

Envious...Doubtful.

I do know these things for certain.  There WILL be flowers for Mother's Day. It's tradition, and I will love them because I love the giver and the note that is attached will remind me just how much I am loved.

And I also know for certain that even though all of my children are adults now, there will still be a certain little man who will be making me burnt toast for breakfast and who will proudly present me with a construction paper card with his hand print flowers...hand prints that are now much, much larger than mine...

...and if I am really, really lucky there will be a smushed up dandelion in his pocket just for me..

Well maybe... just maybe there is a little something to envy after all.

Scotty 1987

Stevi 1988

Sarah Rose 1992

If you have a mom, 

there is nowhere you are likely to go

where a prayer has not already been.  ~Robert Brault

To my sweet babies, thank you for transforming me into a mother.  It is all I ever really wanted to be.  I am so glad that God picked you just for me.  You are the best thing I have ever done.  You are my greatest gifts...my greatest treasures.  Although you are grown, I will never stop missing the time long ago when I was your whole world.

                          




I have been lucky enough to have had two women in my life who have loved me and taught me by example the importance of faith, love, commitment, and most importantly to always cherish the gift of family.

To my mom,  you have shown me how to face life with strength and courage…you have shown me how to survive seemingly unsurvivable situations…to turn lemons into lemonade…and to keep putting one foot in front of the other…no matter what life throws my way.  I love you♥

To my mother-in-law Loretta, you shared with me your faith and helped me to see that God has a purpose to everything and whenever he closes one door he always opens a window.  You have shown me that kindness, gentleness and goodness shown to others lasts far beyond the parameters of this life…and I miss you every day♥