Moments of Impact

I love quotes, all kinds, they lodge in my brain until I can find a way to make sense of them and apply them to my world. I have black and white composition books filled with random quotes and scripture just waiting for any opportunity to share them.

Last week at the movies with a friend the narrator stated that,  “Life’s all about moments of impact and how they change our lives forever.” It's true... each day is filled with moments of small impacts that steer our day in different directions...a flat tire, a sick child, a stubbed toe...all minor inconveniences that punctuate our day, but still have the ability to alter our course.

Then there are the moments of impact that are so powerful that they take your breath away with the force of the blow...it is the moment of collision between a  life you thought you were going to live and the life that in a instant turns into one you no longer recognize.

You find yourself being thrown into a world..  a life you are completely unprepared to live.

Immediately my thoughts go to Scotty and I wondered when was the actual moment of impact.  Was it when we first realized that something was terribly wrong?  When the geneticist called to say that his DNA was positive for Angelmans Syndrome?  When the realization hit that nothing in our world was ever going to be the same again? 

 Or was it when we realized that this sweet boy that we had set so many of our hopes and dreams on was never going to play t-ball, enter the science fair, go on a first date, drive a car, go to college, get married or have a family…was that the thing that brought us to our knees?  Was that the moment everything changed?

Looking back I can’t seem to remember the exact moment... I think it occurred to us gradually over time.  I think if the awareness had happened suddenly the impact would have been too much to bear.

We slowly, over time realized God had a different scenario than the picture we had imagined. And so our journey took a sharp detour into the unknown and sucked us into a vortex of unfamiliar people, places and things....and we were  faced with a reality that was almost to overwhelming to grasp.  

One thing I know for sure, Steve and I were not the only ones who felt the ripple effect of this impact.  The force of the impact on our daughters began before they were even born.  Stevi and Sarah were born into a life completely different than everyone they knew…a life that for them was filled with so much compromise and so much disappointment.  It was a world where they never came first.    We will never know completely the effect of the impact on our daughters, but I do know this about these girls, about all of us...

...Scotty changed us.

He has made us kinder, gentler, more patient, more loving people.  He has brought out the best in all of us.

 Our beautiful, beautiful girls have been able to absorb the impact with grace and love and compassion.  Their laughter has filled our home and  lightened our burden. In the place of the little girls we still hold in our hearts, we see caring and confident young women full of love and compassion and who will both make this world a better place.They are strong and brave and we are so very proud of them. 

They are without a doubt the best part of us.

Sudden moments of impact are life altering... shattering normalcy... crushing dreams...taking your breath away.  Leonard Cohen said, "There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in..."

... And so our challenge is to pick up the the shattered pieces  and fit them together the best we can...and  the light that seeps through the cracks warms us and sustains us and reassures us that...

 It was His plan all along...

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a Future."  Jeremiah 29:11










***P.S.....Rest in Peace Davy Jones, you were my first true love