When I Grow Up..

 ...there's so much I wanna do!

"I want to join the circus or,

 be the dog whisperer,

a vampire,

a snake wrangler,

a helicopter pilot,

 a Catholic priest,

 a musician,

a fireman, 

a Superhero,

 

a photographer,

Or...

and this one is the best...

drum roll please...

Scotty Baston Rodeo Rider!"

 Scotty Baston

Surely, if Scotty had his wish,
and the roll of the genetic dice had been different...
I am certain that he would have chosen 
one of the above professions.

Not a day goes by that he doesn't loudly and repetitively
express his desire to participate in all of the above.
Did I mention repetitively?
Sunup to Sundown...
All day...
Everyday...
On a loop...
Over and over...
Without taking a breath.
I on the other hand take many, many
 many long, slow, deep breaths!

So we try very hard to make all his wishes come true.   

Last weeks wish was
a trip to the Stockshow and Rodeo...YeeHa! 

 
In taking Scotty on these outings of his dreams, 
we have learned a few things.

1.  Just because he gets his wish it does not in 
any way remove it from his litany of daily requests...
AT ALL!
In fact, it escalates his demands
and he doubles up on his requests... 
it is hard to believe  that it is even
humanly possible to fit anymore demands into the loop.

2.  We need to come up with a new sign for rodeo...and fast!

Scotty makes up most of his signs and this
 "crotch grabber" has got to go!
I know he is imitating the bull riders but...

 

3.  Perhaps we need to face the reality that 
he is much too old and too manly to go 
into the petting zoo anymore.
Somehow it just seems a bit inappropriate
for him to run up to two year olds
grabbing his crotch and
yelling his version of the word rodeo in their faces.  

  And lastly, no matter how excited he is or how much fun he had,
 and even though he told us he was finished...
he will ALWAYS make a spectacle of himself when we leave.  

And by spectacle I mean an all out sit down strike
in the aisle kicking and yelling and refusing to move.  
No amount of bribery could budge his butt 
from the sticky cement floor.

After 11 hours...Steve finally pulled, yanked and slid 
him down 5000 steps and out the door.
Okay maybe it was only 10 minutes and maybe there 
were only about 20 steps, but
when the entire arena is watching 
and I am sure judging
it seemed like time was actually standing still.

Scotty had a great day...
Steve and I on the other hand 
were comatose for a week.

Thankfully, the Stockshow only comes around once a year,
so we have an entire year to recover. 

So Stockshow...

Oh crap...did I just see a commercial for the circus???????