Don't Put Toothpaste on Your...

Recently a list circulated through the Facebook...

25 Ways You Know You are a Mom.

I thought I would put my own twist

on this theme...Angelman style.

This child of ours, often referred to as an "angel,"

can be anything but angelic.

The term "angel" stems from

Harry Angelman, the British pediatrician who identified 

Angelman Syndrome.
It is not a commentary on their
(at least not Scotty's)
"angelic" personality :)

 You know You Are the 

Mom of an "Angel" Man/Woman If...

1. You have watched the same Disney movie 9,855 times.

2. You can hold a two-sided conversation 

with your non-verbal child

for 16 hours a day and still maintain 

some semblance of sanity...

some, not a lot, but some.

3.  You have scooped poop out of a bathtub with a fish net...

more than once.

4.  You have no need for an alarm clock, because

you WILL be woken up every morning 

at 3:45, 4:45 and 5:45 am.

5.  You refer to drool as holy water.

6.  You haven't been alone in the 

bathroom in the last 27 years.

7.  Your body needs caffeine circulating

 through its veins in the same way

 that it needs blood in order to function properly.

8.  Showering is now a spectator sport,

because you don't dare leave them alone

while you spoil yourself with a

43 second shower.

9.  You can't take one breath without

breathing in your child's exhaled air,

because they are ALWAYS 

standing in your personal space.

10.  You have been wiping another person's 

butt everyday for the last 27 years.

11.  You refer to the bruises that come from

 pinches, jabs and bites on your arms 

and legs as "angel" kisses.

12.  You consider 4 hours of uninterrupted 

slumber a good night's sleep,

and if you get more than that you feel like you

have a wicked hangover.

13. You have caught throw up in your hands

while simultaneously getting your hair pulled

AND kicked in the shin.

14.  You have bought french fries for complete

strangers because your child firmly believes

that any food item within their reach is fair game.

15.  Getting your child showered and dressed in the morning

could be considered an Olympic event

 that requires a three hour recovery period.

16.  You are capable of being on the wrong end of a

strong right hook that makes you see stars

and yet you immediately hug the slugger, 

because you know they are hurting more.

17. It is not beneath you to beg, bribe, plead

or promise that Santa is in the parking lot

 if they will just get off the dirty, 

disgusting floor at Walmart

where they have dramatically thrown themselves

for reasons we can't even begin to imagine

and walk to the car without breaking the store.

18. You expertly avoid eye contact 

with the horrified onlookers as your

child is doing their best to make a complete

spectacle of himself in public.

19.  You repeat the following phrases daily. 

They are commands that are 

for all intents and purposes

never going to happen,

but you never stop trying.

Keep your hands to yourself,

don't bite the dog,

stop licking me,

stop licking the dog,

close the refridgerator,

stop breaking the house,

put that down it is not yours,

STOP (running away from me),

please let me sit for 5 minutes,

Shhhhhhh,

come over here,

please sit still,

and

be patient. Please?

(NEVER gonna happen)

20.  You have a no hugging rule.  

You talk about it endlessly.

You spend 10 minutes before 

someone comes over practicing. 

You ring the doorbell so they can practice

opening the door and

greeting you appropriately with a handshake.

They are ready!

Doorbell rings.  They open the door...

hug the unprepared and unsuspecting bug man 

and top it off with a kiss on the cheek. 

21.  You have to remind them every day NOT

to pull their pants down whenever 

and wherever it occurs to 

them that they need to go potty.

22.  You still say "potty" to your 27 year old.

23.  You have to turn the Three Stooges off

because they laugh so hard they stop breathing.

24.  Every time the phone rings they go into a feeding

frenzy and have to have a banana

NOW!

And #25...drumroll...

25.  You use combinations of words in sentences

that you never would have dreamed 

could or should go together.

My personal best...

"Oh buddy, don't put toothpaste on your penis !"

And that folks is just a small 

sample of life with an "angel".

This weekend is our National walk for Angelman Syndrome.

Please join us side by side or virtually.

Every little bit helps to further research and get us

closer to finding a cure.

To donate click here