I Give Up...

The Lenten season is upon us once again.

As Catholics Lent is a special time of prayer, 

penance, sacrifice and 

good works in preparation 

of the celebration of Easter. 

For many, including me, this often translates 

into giving up something you love, a sacrifice...

For God.

I have done it all...

Chocolate

Wine

Sugar

Diet Coke

Fast food

Cursing

Gossiping

TV

Facebook

and 

Coffee.

Regrettably,

in all my previous attempts I have failed.

 The coffee was a tragic error in judgement
on my part 

in my extremely sleep deprived life.

In truth I almost killed a man.

In a last startling moment of lucidity I 

realized that my darling husband
can't help it if he needs to chew
his oatmeal at the breakfast
table with the same deafening cacophony of
someone who is chomping on gravel.

And so his life was spared.

This year I have struggled to find my sacrifice.

I am already reading my bible every day,

eating well, exercising, watching less TV,

spending less time on the computer,

so these are in no way suitable for a sacrifice.

I have always wondered if it really

mattered to God whether I ate chocolate, drank wine,

perused Facebook or watched TV.

Last week our priest confirmed that it does not.

He also advised us to not give up something

that makes the lives of those

 around us miserable.

Let's say coffee for example.

It is clear to me that I am missing the point.

 So, I sat in mass this morning,

still unsure of my Lenten plans,

just waiting for some divine intervention

that would lead me to the perfect sacrifice.

And suddenly there it was...

 It was in the face of this guy. 

I watched his face as he peered 

over his dad's shoulder

watching him receive his ashes. 

His face was shining with joy and anticipation.

His expression said, 

"Oh you are so lucky!  I can't wait for my turn!"

I want that.

I want the kind of joy that bubbles up inside of you

and when it spills over it

 impacts everyone around you. 

 So this year I am giving up making promises to 

God that through my own human weakness

I am unable to keep.

This year I am going to give up and let go 

of all the things that take away my joy.

Isn't that exactly what the word sacrifice means?

This year I want to find my joy.

The kind of joy that bubbles up inside of me

and makes others thirst for it too.
The joy that comes from being a child of God.

To my sweet boy who has an endless

supply of joy...

thank you for helping me yearn for mine.

Oh my son, you are so lucky and

I can't wait for my turn!

May the God of hope fill you with all joy

 and peace as you trust in him, 

so that you may overflow with hope

 by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13