A New Year Experiment

A few weeks ago this popped up on the Facebook feed:

In my ongoing quest to be more organized and less scattered I decided to give it a shot! I thought this looked simple enough even for someone of my advanced age and athletic ability.

Monday

1.De-clutter

2. Dishes

3. Make Bed

4.Clean 2 & 1/2 baths 

Seems reasonable...

Unless of course your Monday begins at 3:45 am.
That my friends makes this a little more challenging.
I spent the first two and a half hours
of my day
 repeating some version of the following phrase:

"Lay down and close your eyes...No, we can't have a banana
(go bye-bye, get a surprise, watch a parade,
order pizza, go to work, get a donut...)
until the sun comes up."

7:30- 9:30 Drink coffee, get breakfast, feed the dogs, empty the dishwasher and try to have a semi-coherent conversation with my husband before he leaves for work.
Goal #2 Dishes accomplished!
I am off to a promising start.

Finally ready to begin and I estimated that even
with interruptions I could do all three bathrooms,
 including cleaning Millie's cage, in one hour.

I went looking for my much too quiet helper.

NOW he sleeps!

Hmm...I could tackle a bathroom, but instead decide to jump on the treadmill for a few minutes and try to accomplish my other resolution...walk 10,000 steps. Of course that was all sleeping beauty needed to get off the floor. He pulled me off the treadmill and insisted on a 15 minute dance party and then I had to  I listen to him "play"  the
 theme from Titanic on the piano.
And it went on and on...

10:00- Now we are ready.
Bathroom #1 which is rarely used but,
 it is the one where smelly Millie lives.
Although he loves to hold Millie we still had
 to endure the usual 15 minutes of yelling,
banging and throwing things on the floor in response
to the question,
"Scotty will you hold Millie for me?"

10:15- Okay now we are ready.
Bathroom #1 took me 48 minutes to clean because...
I had to sit with Scotty so he could show me how cute Millie is
and then take some pictures to show dad.

Oh she is cute alright and, but oh so smelly.
She is currently in the running for the
 worlds oldest living guinea pig.
Yea?

OF COURSE as soon as I finished Scotty
desperately needed to use the bathroom...
the clean one.
Not the one 15 feet down the hall that was next on the list.
Oh no, it had to be the sparkling clean one. Sigh!

In the end I decided Millie's cage didn't smell that bad
 after all and could last another day or two.

11:03 Ready to begin bathroom #2.
I decided to stick him in the tub
and kill two birds with one stone,
because at 11:03 we were still not dressed.
Again he had to go through his usual shenanigans
in response to the quietly and cautiously spoken statement,
"Scotty time to get dressed."
20 minutes later...

I would have posted a video of his ridiculous shenanigans,
but I hadn't accomplished goal #3 ...
Make Bed.

Finally, smiley boy is submerged in his now lukewarm
Epsom salt/Monsters University bubble bath...
Which he loves, but still finds the need
 to say no to everything
including those things he loves.

 Including shenanigans it took 50 minutes to clean
the entire bathroom.
 It took an additional 22 minutes
for Scotty to get dressed.

 It went something like this...
Me: Put your socks on please.
Scotty: Points to the TV
Me: We will watch a movie later.
Put your socks on buddy.
Scotty: Points to his sister's picture and signs airplane.
Me:  Next time Stevi comes home
you can pick her up at the airport.
Please put your socks on.
Scotty: Points at Sarah's picture and signs dog.
Me:  Her dog is downstairs and you can see him when you
put your socks on.
Scotty:  I want a treat.
Me: As soon as you PUT YOUR SOCKS ON.
Etc, etc, etc.

In a rare magical moment of cooperation
my little helper loaded the washing machine.


12:35 Need more coffee
Scotty was contentedly watching a DVD so I
jumped back on the treadmill.
Current step count1246

12:36  Scotty wants lunch...and he wants it now.
Current step count 1256
This is a good hour long process because he has to help
 prepare and clean up his meal.

1:36 Time to walk the dogs...
30 minutes of complaining...
20 minutes of walking.

2:40 I decide to jump back on the treadmill
before I tackle bathroom #3.
Current step count 3342.

2:41 Scotty gets in the pantry and steals a banana and
two peppermint patties.
Chased him around the house.
Current step count 3398.

3:00 I need a nap.
I put in his favorite movie, Little Miss Sunshine,
because certainly he is exhausted
and will sit still for 90 minutes.

3:00-4:30 I read 11 pages of The Book Thief for book club...
At which time I start asking my
scoochie son to please sit still
and end up pleading, begging and bribing
him to sit still until the movie is over.


4:33 I turn off the movie and try to muster up some energy and patience.
I notice Mr. Noisy pants is unusually quiet.
Really?
NOW he sleeps!

I don't think so.
I roused the sleeping bear off the couch
so he could help me try to accomplish
goal #1 De-clutter.

5:18  Steve calls to say he is on his way home.
Crap.

1. Downstairs bathroom is still not done.
2.Towels are still in the washer.
3. I have only walked 5002 steps.
4.I still haven't taken a shower (no towels anyway)
 and am really questioning if I have even brushed my teeth.
5.The Easy Chicken Corn Chowder I was going to make
has a prep time of 25 minutes...
obviously I need to triple that
plus a cook time of 30 minutes.
Sandwiches it is then.

 I  realize a few things from my little experiment.

1. I am pretty sure I can classify
this resolution as an epic fail.
2.This is way more cleaning than
I can manage to do in one day
and I didn't even finish my assigned tasks.
As I write this a day later...
those towels are still sitting in the dryer
and the downstairs bathroom isn't clean.
3. I am never going to make it to 10,000 steps.
4. I really need to get a shower before noon.
This should probably be #1.
5. Lastly, I am very aware of where all my time goes.
It doesn't go into my messy house obviously,

but into this beautiful, brown-eyed

bundle of energy instead who

even prays when he sleeps♥

 I will never be able to measure my
accomplishments by how many tasks I complete,
but it is abundantly clear to me that
every moment spent caring for Scotty
will always be more important  than
chasing dust bunnies.

Whatever you do, work heartily, 
as for the Lord and not for men
Colossians 3:23