"I'll love you forever...

I'll like you for always,

As long as I'm living

my baby you'll be." 

Love You Forever

by Robert Munsch and Sheila McCraw 

It is hard to believe that this little guy is now 26♥  It is so hard to believe because in my mind I am still 26!  Of course it is only in my mind because the gal in the mirror sure doesn't look it and the "rheumatiz" that is rapidly taking over my once bendy joints reminds me daily that I am so very much more than 26.

These birthday milestones of his have the potential of leading me into "the bad place". It is a place where I cram all my worries and fears for Scotty and for what his life will be like without us in it.  It is a wretched, terrifying place and it is dark, so very dark, and void of all rational thought.

Just beyond the darkness  a projector runs on a loop relentlessly playing all the worst case scenarios I can envision for him.  In this dark, dark place there is no light because it is so crammed full of anxiety and apprehension that there is no room for the light and no room for God.

"What are you afraid of?

Have you no faith?"

Mark 4:40



Of course I have faith...I have lots of faith...I survive on faith.  I pray, I count my blessings, I believe in miracles and I see God in my living room every single day. But it seems that no matter how strong I am the pull of "the bad place" is stronger and sometimes in a weak moment it gets the best of me.  At times it sucks me in completely and sometimes, like this year, I just dip my toe in to test the waters and see if the dark place is still there. Unfortunately it is...and I have recently been able to cram in one more worst case scenario into the already overflowing space.

As my college girl begins the process of finding her place in the world outside of school and outside our home, there is a real chance that now both of Scotty's sisters will live very far away.  It is as it should be.  They deserve to go out in the world and find their happiness and make a life for themselves, but I can't help the overwhelming feeling of sadness I have for Scotty.

Who then will watch over him?  Who will hug him and make him laugh?   Who will take him to the parade or the Stock Show or the circus?  Who will know that he likes his pizza cut into pieces or that he likes to eat his cookies in a measuring cup?  Who will buy him donuts? Who will lay down with him in the middle of the night and rub his back when he can't sleep?  Who will make sure the world is kind to him?  Who?

Bottom line: There is absolutely nothing good that can come from a visit to the bad place.

"Positive thinking just doesn't happen.

It's something you have to do on purpose."

Joyce Meyer

 

 

Perfect words, delivered at just the right moment from God through Joyce, just before I dove head first into "the bad place."  The reality is that both of our daughters will move heaven and earth to make sure he is okay no matter how far away this life may take them.  And I know that God will provide.  He always has.

 

All I really need to do is to look at the world more like this sweet boy of ours does and always believe that everyday is a good day for a party...on purpose!

 



Scotty "saying" PARTY!

Thankfully, in Scotty's worry-free, carefree world

it is always birthday business as usual. 

There is a formula that we must not deviate from....EVER!

It must always include worms in our food,

 

 

 

a little silliness,

 

 snakes,

and of course it wouldn't be a gathering at

the Bastons without a wee bit of 

Scotty shenanigans.

♥Happy Birthday Scotty Boy♥

♥We Love you to the moon and back♥

"Whoever receives this child in 
My name receives Me, 

and whoever receives Me receives
 Him who sent Me; 

 for whoever is the least 
among you is the greatest."

Luke 9:48

 

 This is his new(ish) desk we gave him for
his birthday.  It is amazing how
long he will sit and how focused 
he is as he"writes" 
these important missives.
If only our limited human 
understanding could help us to 
decipher what I am sure
are heavenly messages.